How to Wield Power? Where to Start?

Do you want to wield power?

Do you want people to be unable to resist you?

If the answer is yes, then become a signal reader. You can achieve that by acquiring tools for reading others. People are information-revealing machines. They don’t have to explicitly tell you; you can read them. And what you can’t read, probe for it.

1. Reading Signals

As Sigmund Freud said, “No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.”

People reveal through gestures, facial expressions, and passing words more than you can imagine. Fleeting expressions and subtle movements carry a significant weight of information, yet most people are blind to these signals. This ignorance often gives others an unintended edge.

Seem Interested: People open up more to those who show genuine interest. Even the most private individuals may unknowingly share secrets with someone who appears intrigued.

The Art of Reading: Talleyrand’s Insight

The French diplomat Talleyrand was a master at interpreting signals. Once, during the Congress of Vienna, he entered a room where opposing diplomats were negotiating. Instead of speaking, he observed their body language. From subtle gestures—a tap of the foot, a glance, or a moment of hesitation—he deduced the hidden alliances and disagreements in the room. Later, he used this knowledge to position himself as the mediator, swaying decisions in his favor without revealing his sources.

2. Probing for Information

When signals aren’t enough, probing is your next tool. It’s an art to extract valuable information without seeming to pry. One technique practiced by Talleyrand was to appear to open up about something unimportant or completely fabricated. This disarmed his target, who would then reciprocate by sharing something of genuine significance.

Story: Talleyrand’s Ingenious Probe

Once, a foreign envoy visited Talleyrand with an urgent matter. Instead of addressing the issue directly, Talleyrand shared a personal anecdote about a trivial incident, creating an atmosphere of trust. The envoy, relaxed and misled by Talleyrand’s openness, inadvertently revealed his country's true intentions. Talleyrand acted on this intel, ensuring France remained a step ahead.

3. Lessons from Duveen: The Art Dealer’s Mastery

Joseph Duveen, a legendary art dealer, employed reading and probing in business. A famous story recounts how he courted an American millionaire. Instead of pitching art directly, Duveen visited the millionaire’s mansion. Observing a crack in the ceiling, he casually commented, “This home deserves a Rembrandt.”

Intrigued, the millionaire asked about Rembrandt’s works. Duveen planted the idea subtly, allowing it to grow in the man’s mind. Months later, the millionaire bought several paintings from Duveen, not realizing the dealer had carefully orchestrated the desire.

4. Decoding Signals in Everyday Life

Imagine a colleague resisting your proposal in a meeting. Watch for subtle cues: Are they fidgeting? Avoiding eye contact? These signs can indicate discomfort or disagreement. Use probing questions like, “What’s your perspective on this?” Their response might reveal the real reason for their resistance.

The SIT Framework: Suppression, Information, and Time

Mastering reading and probing becomes even more powerful when framed within the SIT framework:

• Suppression: Control the flow of information by withholding or revealing only what benefits your goals. Silence and selective sharing can provoke curiosity and openness in others.

• Information: People reveal more than they realize. Observing signals and asking strategic questions allows you to gather the critical pieces of the puzzle.

• Time: The longer you observe and probe, the clearer the patterns become. Patience in waiting for the right moment to act often determines success.

This iterative process—observe, probe, and act—is the foundation of wielding influence.

Final Thoughts

Reading and probing are indispensable skills for wielding power. By interpreting what’s unsaid and skillfully extracting what’s hidden, you position yourself as a master of influence.

If you enjoyed this letter, share it with a friend—help them wield power and master the art of influence.